While pondering the original Y2K problem-the coming of the Antichrist-we turned to the Book of Revelations in the New King James Bible. By substituting "National Post" for "beast," "Conrad Black" for "dragon," and so on in Chapter 13, we've uncovered a disturbing prophecy:

1. Then I stood on the sand of the Don River. And I saw a National Post rising up out of the Don Mills area of Toronto, having seven heads and ten horns, and on his horns ten crowns, and on his heads a blasphemous name.
2. Now the National Post which I saw was like a leopard, his feet were like the feet of a bear, and his mouth like the mouth of a lion. And Conrad Black gave it his power, his throne, and great authority.
3. I saw Saturday Night magazine as if it had been mortally wounded, and his deadly wound was healed. And all Canadian newspaper subscribers marvelled and followed the National Post.
4. So they worshipped Conrad Black who gave authority to the National Post; and they worshipped the National Post, saying, "Who is like the National Post? Who is able to make war with it?"
5. And Black was given a mouth speaking great things and blasphemies, and he was given authority to continue for forty-two months.
6. Then he opened his mouth in blasphemy against The Globe and Mail, to blaspheme its name, its newsroom, and those who work on Front Street West.
7. And it was granted to him to make war with The Globe and Mail and to overcome them. And authority was given him over every tribe, tongue, and nation.
8. And all readers who dwell in Canada will worship him, whose names have not been written in the Subscription Book of Home Delivery slain from the foundation of the world.
9. If anyone has an ear, let him hear.
10. He who leads into captivity shall go into captivity; he who has lunch with Jan Wong must eat with Jan Wong. Here is the patience and the faith of the Canadian news media.